Archive for September, 2008|Monthly archive page

Bathroom Humor #4: Rise Above the Germs

Okay, so the Cowboy Hats (or Gaskets or Donuts or whatever you call them) are probably pretty ridiculous.  You’re probably more likely to catch something from a public phone (which, BTW, why do we have those anymore?) or that disgusting little thing I like to call the public restroom faucet handle.  But still, having that tiny little layer of separation there is somehow comforting.  But what if you could really rise above the germs?

Embed fail.  But here’s the link:


Bathroom Humor #3: Uninterrupted Sleep

Yes, I scour the web for bathroom humor. This one, from SNL, is just pricelessly wrong (and I find pricelessly to be a new and indispensable word).

Restroom Oddities #4: Auto-manic Dispensers

In general, I’m in favor of automatic dispensers in restrooms.  Automatic soap dispensers are a bit irritating, because if they don’t work, you’re stuck with just water, and most of the time you’ve already touched the faucet, so you’re completely screwed.  If it’s paired with an auto-faucet, you’re still fine (or at least not worse-off).

The auto-towel-dispenser is a nice innovation, too.  I really hate having to touch the towel dispenser, knowing all the fakers did it before me.  It’s a huge step up from the blower, too.  It’s a bit irritating when the dispenser is set to give a too-short towel, though.  I understand you want to save trees.  So use post-consumer paper products, and give us a length of towel that works so we don’t take two.  Fine.

There is a dark side to the automatic dispenser (of anything), however.  On one side, you’ve got the unresponsive dispenser (most irritating in faucets…I’m convinced you get what you pay for).  On the other side, there’s this:

I always like my towels to be dipped in the garbage first...

I always like my towels to be dipped in the garbage first...

I wish I’d had my camera with me last week.  I was in the stall, and this dispenser put out a new towel every eight seconds or so.  By the time I was out, it looked like a huge ribbon candy had landed on top of the garbage can.  Naturally, as soon as I ripped off the big towel (and disposed of it), it took about fifteen seconds before it would dispense another.

One more thing.  If we’re going for Greenitivity, don’t automatic faucets make sense?  I mean, proper hand-washing technique includes turning the faucet off using a towel, which means you’re leaving the water running for an extra few seconds.  Using an automagic one would eliminate both the extra running time and the extra towel.

And one more thing.  I’m not a fan of auto-flush toilets.  Urinals, yes, but nobody likes the random flush while sitting down.

Restroom Oddities #3: No latch for you!

One trip to the restroom (to change clothes even) last week yielded several Oddities.  First, the handicapped stall (extra roomy, good for clothing changes) in the nearest restroom to me has an issue…no latch.

What, you wanted to *lock* the door?

What, you wanted to *lock* the door?

I guess I just have this thing about being able to latch and/or lock the door to my stall, especially when I’m gettin’ naked.  This door went through several months of flux in which Site Services evidently toiled fruitlessly at attempting to repair the latch.  There were several failed latch mechanisms, one of which was relatively easy to lock but very difficult to unlock (yeah, getting stuck in the stall isn’t a nice experience).  I guess they just decided this “no latch” thing was a better way to go.

Interestingly, just two floors away, the same thing happened.  But they went with security instead:

There's also a chain latch and deadbolt higher up...

Not pictured: the chain latch and deadbolt further up...

Somebody on first floor isn’t messin’ around.

Back to that third floor stall.  Is it just me, or does this toilet look thirsty?

Or maybe it's just a Stones fan?

Or maybe a Stones fan?

Maybe somebody was a bit confused about which direction the Cowboy Hat goes?

Bathroom Humor #2: A variation on Hide 'n' Seek

I’m not confident I’ll be able to ever find anything to post under Bathroom Humor that’s not just plain wrong.  Maybe someday, but not today.

Hope you enjoyed that as much as these guys did.

Restroom Offenders #1: Sink me!

I keep a list of Fake Handwashers in my cubicle.  I don’t do this to call them out (originally I actually put their names up, but thought this might be a Career-Limiting Move, so now it’s just initials); Mostly, this is for my information.  These are the folks I will not shake hands with; I will not share a communal candy bowl with them.  Biohazard!!!

Infinity Offender

Infinity Offender

So yesterday I’m in the restroom doing my morning Standup, when in walks the most notorious FHW on my list (see him depicted with an infinity).  He strides right over to the sink and grabs some soap from the Unreliable Automatic Soap Dispenser.  Immediately I’m thinking, “There is NO WAY he came in just to wash his hands!”

Sure enough, he had gotten some butter from an English muffin on his shirt.  Crisis averted.

Restroom Oddities #2: Here's lookin' at you…

It’s always good restroom design practice to provide the urinal patron with something to look at.  This aids him in avoiding making eye contact with any other patrons.  Need I mention one of the Rules?  (No peeking.)

In many cases, this will be borne out by an extremely out of date newspaper in a frame.  Some establishments actually go with something current, and that’s really cool.  But really, even an empty frame is something.  It’s better than the Pee Spot (the imaginary something on the wall a man is obliged to study intently while at the urinal).

However, loyal patron Mr. H. has submitted a picture that violates the spirit of the “provide visual distraction” principle, if not the letter.  Evidently it was seen at the Pepsi Center during the 2008 Democratic National Convention.

Now please, try to aim...

Now please, try to aim...

It’d be fascinating to do a study on parauresis (bashful bladder) with regard to this kind of image.  I also find it interesting that Democrats apparently need this kind of validation…interesting psychology?

Bathroom Humor #1: When it all just goes so wrong…

Perhaps this is comedy.  Perhaps it’s a horrifying vision of where we’re headed.  No pun intended there.

Mostly, this is just entirely wrong.  But funny.

For the record, this has never happened to me.

Restroom Oddities #1: Warning – drinking may cause gender confusion

Another feature I’ll feature here (I plan to be nothing if not featuristic) is the highlighting of Restroom Oddities.  A friend we’ll call Mr. H gave me these pictures and I couldn’t pass up using them.  First, the sign:

This just seems to make good sense, but...

This just seems to make good sense, but...

I heartily agree with the sentiments of the sign.  However, one must consider the context in which such a sign is placed.  And that context is:

Evidently the drinking has already begun...

Evidently the drinking has already begun...

It seems to me that if you’re a potentially pregnant woman reading this sign in the Men’s Room, it’s a case of too little, too late.

Need I mention these pictures are from a restroom in a bar?

One more image from the talented Mr. H:

Well, duh!

Well, duh!

I don’t think it really helps the cause of accuracy when you put something so seemingly designed to make a man feel a bit threatened right beside the urinal.  Maybe we could go with a smaller cone.  Just sayin’.

RD Triumphs and Atrocities #1

This post will be the exemplar of a feature here at the Dumping Grounds.  “RD” stands for Restroom Design, which is something I think about a fair bit.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to capture an image or two of a very cool restroom feature (in Cannon Beach, OR) I think should be emulated.  I call it “Junior in the Middle” (or JIM for short):

How cool is this?  Given men’s tendencies to leave a buffer urinal between them and the next guy, this seems a logical design.  Why?  Normally, you get two Seniors and then a Junior (nearly always on the far left).  So, if more than one man is using the restroom, one of them is left with either using Junior (and setting himself up for more accuracy issues due to the extra distance) or pairing up with the other guy.  The Rules state that no pairing shall ever been done, so he’ll go with Junior.  This design lets him make the right choice (no pairing) without punishing him for choosing correctly.

Unfortunately, the image I didn’t capture was the fact that upon entering this Relief Station, there was precisely one man present, and he was parked at Junior.  I thought about confronting him.  Or taking his picture.

Also, Junior leaked.  The flush overflowed the capacity by just a little bit, leaving the floor quite wet.  Nice.

When I first encountered this restroom, all I remembered was the JIM thing.  I failed to notice this:



This is simply unacceptable.  Push-on faucets are a crime against handwashing.  This one had an On-Time of approximately 2.5 seconds.  No joke.  Pair this with a blower on the wall instead of towels, and it is IMPOSSIBLE to escape with clean hands.  And then the door was a Pull-Inward.  Sigh.

Still, Cannon Beach gets credit for JIM.